We don't tend to stay up late these days. Even with a nap in the afternoon, we're still often tired by the time 10.30-11.00 comes round.
So you can imagine our irritation at being woken around 11.30, three nights running, by someone ringing us to tell us that our computer isn't working properly, and that they can fix it for us. You know the routine: this is a scam, and once they get you to open up your computer they ask for your credit card to deal with the cost of the issue. And then start using your credit card details fraudulently.
What fool of a scam company thinks it's a good idea to ring people at this time of night? Don't they have a world clock on their own computers that tell them what time it is in our country?
They've had a short shift each time they've rung, a short and increasingly grumpy one. I'm thinking of leaving the phone off the hook overnight from now on. But then of course if we have a real phone call, an emergency perhaps, we'd miss it.
Even more ridiculous than the late night scams was the text message I got yesterday informing me that I'd won £125,000,000 in some mobile number lottery. One hundred and twenty-five million pounds? The credibility of this text is instantly undermined by the sheer size of the prize. Who gives away that much money in a lottery? If they'd suggested I'd won a thousand pounds I might have had second thoughts about how genuine the text was. But vast sums being allotted to me out of the blue - sorry, it just doesn't work. I've been around the world too long.
If you're going to scam us old people, then you're going to have to use your brain. I know some people fall for these things, but all your past scams have made me a lot more suspicious. But I'm not actually asking you to work harder at trying to fool me. I'd much prefer that you went and did something of value with your life, something that actually contributes to the good of society.