Carrying on listening

I've had some unexpected opportunities to sit and listen to other people's ongoing stories in the last couple of days, so it's been helpful to be reminded by Lynne Baab's latest book, The Power of Listening, that good listening can be affected by our own anxieties, or our desires to 'solve' problems, or our need to keep moving forward because we're busy - and much more.

One of the advantages of being retired is that time isn't quite so pressured. Whereas lunch times always used to be affected by the need to get back to work, that's no longer the case for me. And evenings aren't such an issue either, because I can work in the daytime and get want I want done then (such as walking the dog, or writing the sequel to my children's book, which is well on its way).

But being under time pressure isn't the only thing that gets in the way of good listening: our anxiety that we can't solve the problem(s) is another issue. And trying to solve the problem may be the last thing we need to be doing. The person may first and foremost just need to be heard. One of the things we learned when doing a course in pastoral supervision is that that someone with a problem may need most of all to talk out their issues. It's the fact of talking, and being heard, that's important, rather than your attempts at problem-solving. And frequently, in the talking out, the problems clarify for the person and some options to dealing with them arise.

Uriah Heep.
Artist: Fred Bernard

Lynne points out in one of her last chapters in the book that we require humility when listening to others. This can be difficult for people who live in an age when self-esteem, and self in general, are the 'important' things. Humility isn't something we moderns are very good at. That sense of putting ourselves aside in order to give someone else room - and doing it without making it a false action (like Uriah Heep at his worst) - isn't always easy for us.

I still haven't read the first half of Lynne's book, but the second half has been more than helpful!

That old problem of structure

A while ago I wrote about the difficulties I have with structuring a story (or anything else I create, if it comes to that.) Today, in my regular email from Time to Write (Jurgen Wolff) I received the first of nine 'answers' to structure, as posited by the American graphic designer and design educator, Louis Danziger. Jurgen has written the thoughts in italics that follow Danziger's points. The interesting thing about this is that Danziger is basically saying each story/work has its own 'formula'. You can't apply the formula from the last novel to the one you're writing now.

1: Design is a problem-solving activity.

In writing, the problem is how to tell the story most effectively.

2: The solution to the problem is in the problem itself.

3: If you are having difficulty in finding a solution, it seems to be most productive to go back to clarifying and enlarging one's understanding of the problem. Restating it, paraphrasing it, asking the questions in other ways, gathering additional information all seem to help. The form is in the in-formation.

When you're having problems telling a story, don't look for a formula. Look deeper into the characters and the story. I've always found that in writing a script, if the middle isn't working, the problem is actually earlier, in the way I've set up the characters or the situation.

4: In the best work, form and content are inseparable. Always seek to find the perfect balance.

Again, it's tempting to make the story fit a formula or paradigm, but the best work comes when you let the story define its own shape. That's why I'm skeptical of courses or books that say 'a romantic comedy must have these 14 steps' or 'a horror film must always have this shape.' Of course letting the story define its own shape is harder.

Update 17.5.2021

Checking this blog post out again this morning, I realised that the second half of Danziger's thoughts were never added, so I went back to Jurgen Wolff's blog, and found them. Here they are:

5: In the best work there is always a benefit for the audience; the client; and yourself (in this order of importance).

As writers, we might think of the publishers or producers as the clients. Unless they can see the benefit, they won't buy the project, so it's useful to start thinking about this right from the start. Convincing them is getting more difficult, but that's balanced by the fact that going around them (for instance, by self-publishing) is getting easier.  

6: Always strive to give value. Be fair, honest, and responsible.

7: Have the nerve to fail. Fear of failure is the biggest obstacle to creativity and growth. No one ever built or ruined a career on any piece of work. In the scheme of things, one's failures or successes for that matter don't count for a hell of a lot. A sustained body of failures or successes is another matter.

I think this is the toughest part of what we do. I know failing isn't bad...but it sure feels bad!

8: A great deal can be learned about creativity in studying the sciences and in developing the scientific attitude: i.e., Question, Hypothesis, Experimentation, Evaluation, etc. 

Lissitzky gave his equation for design as follows: Problem, Invention, Art. 

My own view of his equation is that the first two are primary and the third is a function of how well one has dealt with the problem and invention. 

'Art', like talent, is out of your hands, don't even think about it. Develop a deep and abiding commitment to excellence. The rest will take care of itself.

9: Nobody's perfect.

Amen.