Signature line...

A lot of people put interesting things in their signature at the bottom of emails. However, Family First, the New Zealand group that aims to focus on family issues, has one that takes the cake. (I've copied it with their permission.)

Any mistakes in this email can be put down to professional oversight, hormonal imbalances or the weather. Please overlook any errors, omissions or admissions. If you should not have received this email please return and don't read.

Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the poodle next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you! Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.

However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

What's in a Name? Quite a bit, actually

When we were in England we went to the deadening town of Milton Keynes, a place that was purpose-built for the overflow from London (I think). It struck me as an unpleasant place to live when I went there more than thirty years ago. It hasn’t improved, in spite of having one of the longest malls I’ve ever been in.
But I only mention Milton Keynes because there was a stall in the middle of the mall (always the poet!) where they were selling Dead Sea Salts. Apparently these are very effective for all manner of illnesses, including psoriasis treatment – which is rather odd, since you’d think that the dead helping the dead wouldn’t really work. Seems it does.
What struck me more though was the name itself. It must have taken some grit to insist that they stick with the word ‘dead’ in giving a name to various facial creams and lotions. Still, the Dead Sea Salts have been regarded fairly highly for many decades, so I suppose they thought they could risk it.
Must be one out of the bag, though.